This book left me emotionally drained and I needed to gather my thoughts first before I could even attempt to write my review. I finally tried not to be too emotional. So here it goes...
This was the worst goodbye I had to say. It got especially hard closer to the end. It was so awful. It was emotionally the worst but most moving and at the same time best written part (around 90%-95%). I just knew then that I couldn't rate this book any differently than with full 5 stars.
It was the decisive factor for my rating and if you want to know what it was, I guess you have to read the book and find out for yourself =P
Tally was heartbroken and couldn't believe what happened. Cash had changed so much since his accident but that he would kick her out and say those awful things to her was just too much. She needed to get away, somewhere she had no memories of him and where it would be easier to forget. But is there such thing as forgetting the love of her life?
'”I would fight if Cash would let me, but he's given up – on himself and on us. What else can I do?”'
Cash struggles with his life and controlling his anger since he woke up from his coma.
He is scared to hurt Tally and that's why he had to let her go. He wants to have her safe from him until he's able to sort himself out and get better. Although he plans on getting her back at some point, he's insecure if she would still want him regardless of who he is now. Will he be able to get her back when he's not the same person anymore? Will he be enough for her?
'If Cash left things as they were, he had zero chance of getting his life back.'
Despite all the wonderful and heartbreaking moments in this book, there were still some things I wasn’t all that happy with. I was annoyed at Tally in the first part of the book because it felt like (apart from the break-up) she had all the luck in the world and everything fell into her lap. And as this wasn't the first break-up it felt a bit like ping pong with Tally's life and their relationship. It had my head spinning especially because it felt like a Déjà-vu considering we had some of the parts already in the previous books. While it felt like it, it still wasn’t the same though despite the similar road it went down at some point, and for that I was really glad.
Honestly, I was mad at Cash for breaking up with Tally, especially so far into their relationship, because I didn't understand why he couldn't tell her how he felt and just asked for space. He didn't want to hurt her physically but then he went and hurt her emotionally. What irony.
As we knew that Cash planned to get her back eventually, it happened too sudden without a real talk through or even any hesitation from Tally's side. It was in the past and they forgot about it real quick. But why? I asked myself how she was not a bit worried that he wouldn't, at his next outburst of anger or fear of hurting her, break up with her again. There just wasn't any doubt on Tally's part even though the past showed how fast everything could end.
'”The mind doesn't heal like the body.”'
The huge bomb that had been dropped at some point in the book was an enormous shock for me. I was definitely not prepared for those turn of events and it was fucking awful! I was absolutely torn if I liked it or not because I usually wouldn't have liked it and although I wish it didn't happen, it played a big part on my love for this book because it brought the characters – especially Cash's – a lot closer to my heart. (If that makes any sense). It definitely brought me to tears though.
This book made me laugh but it made me cry a lot more. It was a mean story if I do say so myself. The ending of this book and therefore also of this series left me with one laughing and one crying eye.
Well, I loved to see Cash's vulnerability and generally human side as he always seemed so controlled and sure of himself. Now he was definitely feeling the love getting stronger as he put her well-being first. He wanted to be worthy of her and worried she wouldn't want him as weak and broken as he was after his accident. It was really emotional to see him at his breaking point.
'”Step one of a million,” he whispered.'
The story was actually really awesome in how it let us be part in a rather darker or more depressing chapter of Cash's life without it being an up and down but kind of a constant reminder of how we all have to work hard on ourselves to accomplish our goals and to enjoy the happy moments as we never know what will happen next.
'Pain tore through his gut as he realized that he hadn't recovered yet, but he clung tightly to the belief that the day would come.
Because if it didn't, there was fuck all to live for.'
It's always hard to say goodbye to characters I grew to love. Especially since this book brought the series characters so much closer to my heart.
I can't wait to read Rupe's story because he played a big part in my love for this series. As well as Rachael, Pete, Kinga, even William, Rowan and Dr. Bauer played their part. All the characters were special to me. It's so hard to let go. I really did use up a pretty amount of tissues at the end of this book.
-- I received an ARC of this book from the author in exchange for an honest review. --
My rating: 5 of 5 stars