I'm a wreck. I’m devastated. I’m at a loss for words.
You know, so many people started praising this book that I couldn't ignore it much longer. Although I originally started reading this book months earlier, life got in the way and I only now picked it up again to finish it. Seriously, I could slap myself for taking so long.
Love and sadness went hand in hand in this story.
Although I had this feeling in my gut that told me this story was going to make me fall in love and break my heart, I was not prepared for how ugly it was going to be and what a mess it turned me into. It wasn’t all perfect because at first it felt a bit too fast and later on slowed down too much. But doesn’t life feel like that too sometimes?! And when a book like this elicits such deep emotions, there’s no other way than to give it a full star rating.
‘”As long as we’re together, I’ll smile forever.”’I was really moved by this beautiful story no matter how wrong my assumptions were at some parts in the book. You can imagine my shock when I discovered just how wrong I was. This rarely happens because I’m quite good at figuring out the secrets behind a story. Not so in this book because I didn’t see it coming until it punched me in the gut.
‘”Not every story can have a happy ending.”’I thought that I disliked the character, but in the end it was me I didn't like because I judged her when I should have known better. I wanted to apologize to Emerson and tell her that I didn't know and that I was sorry. My heart shattered and I felt terrible about my feelings and about what happened.
As the blurb already hints at there are two men in this story that are important to Emerson though I will not go further into that because I think it’s best to experience the story with as little knowledge as possible. I’m sure that my feelings would have been a lot different would I have known what I do now.
‘“If you stack your life tower with things that make you happy, your life will be filled with colour and light, but if you ignore your passions or fail to invest in the right things or the right people, your life will be flat and dull. You’ll live in the shadows.”’This book was one of the toughest to finish, but not for the reason one might think. I just didn’t think my eyes would stop leaking because this story absolutely destroyed me. I was a mess and my ugly crying wasn't quiet and not pretty at all. So, be prepared for it. I wasn’t.
‘”No one’s life is black and white. We all have grey areas – insecurities, flaws, imperfections, secrets. We’re all just human, and there’s kind of beauty in that.’”The Story:
Emerson was the main character and we got to see a lot of her childhood life were we witnessed her being bullied and mistreated even from her own family. The silver lining in her life was her best friend Mereki, without whom she wouldn't have known where she'd be. He and art, which was more than just an outlet to her but her way of expressing her emotions and telling her stories, were the best parts of life.
Until everything changed.
This absolutely tore me apart. When the story began, I was drawn to those two lovely young characters that had found one another and helped each other to get through a tough time during their childhood. I couldn’t help but fall in love with them when I saw their passion and love grow. I felt close to them and wanted to be in their inner circle and a part of their lives just to protect them from any harm.
‘No matter what.’My love for them grew as they got older and their love became stronger. You can imagine how heartbroken and sad I was to learn what happened later on. I felt sorrow and pain and wanted to help them so badly. As the story went on I was very emotional and really invested and captured by their journey, but I grew annoyed and frustrated with Emerson at about half way through. I just didn't understand. I didn't see. I was blind about what happened and I felt that the story was a bit too drawn out and Emerson just got on my last nerve.
What shocked me was the revelation of what had happened because I felt sorry for my way of thinking, for blaming Emerson and disliking her behavior. It felt like falling into a bottomless pit because I couldn't handle how wrong I had been and how all those emotions were flooding my senses.
Conclusion: I absolutely adored and loved this book for its heart achingly beautiful story no matter how painful it was because there was always some spark of hope and light in the dark.
‘As I always knew it would, our love transcended all. This is love, my way.’
My rating: 5 of 5 stars